EDITOR’S CORNER
This morning I came in the back door and The Reporter’s Mr. Fixit, Cliff Dungan, greeted me with his usual “how-zit going?”
And I did something mean. I told him.
“Well, so far this morning the supposedly well-trained dog messed up the carpet, the refrigerator quit, there’s water all over the floor, I cut myself shaving, didn’t notice it and bled all over something I intended to wear to work, and I don’t have an idea for a column, which I need to write within the next hour.”
So Cliff turned to someone else. “Well, howzit going with you?”
Of course I had to return later and apologize to him. You see, I know, as we all do, when people ask you how things are going they don’t really want you to tell them.
The correct response, whatever has happened to you in the last hour, or day or week, is to smile, say “fine” and keep on trucking.
It wasn’t my fault, though. The evening before I had read a quite interesting article on cultural differences.
They exist and they can often lead to awkward situations.
One referenced personal space. Have you noticed the more gregarious of our fellow Americans tend to get right up in your face when they are talking.
Apparently most Europeans prefer a lot more distance in face-to-face conversations and will edge away when the speaker gets too close.
“I’ve seen a Texan back a Frenchman all the way across a room at a party,” was the quote.
But in this case the author referenced Russian culture. When Russians say “how are you?” or “how’s it going?” they really mean it. They expect you to stop and deliver one of those Christmas-card-let’s-get-caughtup-on-the-past-year monologues.
And it’s rude if you don’t.
But when Americans do it, well in that case it’s usually not a Frenchman backing away across the room.
The greeting is a formality to us and it’s a nice gesture even though what we are basically saying is: “I hope you are okay so I’m going to say ‘how is it going?’ even though I don’t really expect you to tell me.”
Which reminded me of what cartoonist Al Capp once told talk show host Johnny Carson: “You know what I like about you, Johnny? You actually listen to what I say when we talk. When most hosts ask ‘how are you,’ I could reply ‘I just ran over your mother and shot your grandmother’ and they would answer: ‘Fine, Al, now tell me about your new book’.”
I hasten to add that there are Americans who don’t subscribe to the “I’m fine and keep on trucking” approach.
The Reporter’s Michelle Morgan said she has been shouted rather intimate details of people’s lives across the street.
Bottom line. Our carpet has a stain, the refrigerator has two inches of ice in the freezer and puddles on the floor, there’s dried blood all over a pair of pants.
But I got a column idea.
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