When the idea came upon me to write on the following topic, my serious side was highjacked by the memory of a comedy sketch I saw long ago. I do hope this column’s faithful readers also share an abandoned sense of humor. The sketch is excerpted from the 1981 film History of the World, Part 1, by Mel Brooks. The scene: Moses is slowly walking down from the summit of Mount Sinai carrying three large, stone tablets. He solemnly addresses the children of Israel gathered at the base of the mountain: “I bring you these fiftee…,” and before he finishes the sentence, one of the tablets falls and shatters on the mountainside. Then Moses awkwardly continues, “…these Ten Commandments!”
Of course, you realize by now that “the following topic” concerns The Ten Commandments. Texas’ Lieutenant Governor, siding with the governor of Louisiana, is determined to have The Ten Commandments placed prominently in all Texas school rooms. At least that is what I understand. And while The Fiftee…I mean Ten Commandments bear the weight of three millennia of Judeo-Christian devotion, it is nonetheless a thorny issue for a nation that is constituted without the favor of a particular religion or defined secularness.
It is true the Declaration of Independence appealed to “the laws of Nature and Nature’s God” and asserted that all persons had basic rights “endowed by their Creator.” But the Constitution lacked even those vaguely drawn references to a deity. This was intentional. Despite their various faiths and their respect for religion, many of the Founding Fathers worried that religion would corrupt the state and, conversely, that the state would corrupt religion.
If the founders had not made their stance on this “Christian nation” issue clear enough in the Constitution, they certainly did in the 1797 Treaty of Tripoli. Begun by George Washington, signed by John Adams and ratified unanimously by a Senate still halffilled with signers of the Constitution, this treaty announced firmly and flatly to the world that “the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.”
I insert at this point a story that comes from Gilda Radner’s book, It's Always Something. Gilda shares about a pregnant mutt that one day got in the way of the lawnmower and her two back legs were cut off. They rushed her to the vet who said, 'I can sew her up, or you can put her to sleep if you want. But the puppies are okay – she’ll be able to deliver the puppies.”
'Keep her alive,' they begged. So the vet sewed up her backside and over the next week that dog learned how to walk by taking two steps in the front and flipping up her backside and then taking two more steps and flipping up her backside again. She gave birth to six little puppies, all in perfect health. She nursed them and then weaned them. And when they learned to walk, they all walked like her—taking two steps and flipping up their backsides. The puppies learned how to walk from watching their mother.
Surely you surmise my point: Adults could put copies of The Fiftee…I mean The Ten Commandments in every classroom, office, workspace and closet (I wonder if Dan Patrick has a copy behind his desk in his Capitol office) and it would not have a fraction of the impact on our children as the words, actions and decisions that they see in our own lives.
It is true that this hapless carnival will continue for some time; but as Gilda said, “It’s always something.”
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