SPOILIN’ THE BROTH
Neighbor Grover sez the earliest computer has been traced back to Adam and Eve and it was an Apple with very limited memory. After just one byte, everything crashed.
Now that we all fully understand all there is to know about Bit-coins, cryptocurrency and high-tech stuff like that, allow me to share some data I learned last week.
I have many friends who are retired Alcoans and one of them told me that this Bitcoin thingy is not new at all out at the smelter that once made ‘loonium.
Back in the 1980s, said he, with a slight gleam in his eye, there were a lot of Bit-coins at the smelter and all of them were made of aluminum.
And then he told me that a number of Alcoans out at Building 80 organized the “Alcoa Skippers Club.” They would drive over to Alcoa Lake during their lunch break and try to skip those Bitcoins across the lake.
Some of the members, he said, because they were strong of arm and deft of wrist, and because aluminum is such a fine, light metal, could occasionally skip one all the way across.
But mostly, they sank (the Bitcoins, not the Skippers).
Now it seems, according to what you read, Bitcoins have a bit of value whereas, back then, they were just valued for skipping.
But please don’t go donning scuba gear and exploring the depths of Alcoa Lake in search of those ‘loonium Bitcoins.
You see, my friend and I just made all this stuff up, letting our imaginations wander while toasting our fine new industry with a couple of cold ones.
Welcome, Bitmain.
—bc—
From Reporter reader Mike Barry in Marble Falls, here are, he sez, actual comments made by State Troopers that were taken off their car videos:
• “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just ran.”
• “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
• “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
• “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
• “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”
• “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
• “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
• “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in poop.”
• “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
• “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”
• “I’m glad to hear the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”
• “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here, ma’am.”
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