On page 2A in this week’s paper there is a map of everyone’s address that is participating in this year’s Citywide Garage Sale so you can plan your shopping days this weekend.
My friend Ric Rodriguez is opening his Tiger Boxing Fitness Academy in the Snug Building downtown at 121 East Cameron on Sunday, September 1 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. There will be food vendors and music, boxing demonstrations and a grand opening ribbon cutting by the Chamber of Commerce. Be there! See ad on page 6A for more information.
—kwc— A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for $250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.
The next day, the farmer drove up to Chuck’s house and said, “Sorry son, but I have some bad news: the horse died.”
Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.”
The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”
Chuck said, “Okay, then, just bring me the dead horse then.”
The farmer asked, “What ya gonna do with him?”
Chuck said, “I’m going to raffle him off.”
The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead horse!”
Chuck said, “Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month Later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, “What happened with that dead horse?”
Chuck said, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at five dollars apiece and made a profit of $2495.”
The farmer said, “Didn’t anyone complain?”
Chuck said, “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his five dollars back.” —kwc— An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, “Sir, what is that on your shoulder?”
The old farmer said, “That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes.”
“I’m sorry, Sir,” said the ticket girl, “We can’t allow animals in the theater. Not even a pet chicken.”
The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the chicken down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater.
He sat down next to two old emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer un-zipped his pants so Chuckie could stick his head out and watch the movie.
“Marge,” whispered Mildred.
“What?” said Marge.
“I think the guy next to me is a pervert.”
“What makes you think so?” asked Marge. “He unzipped his pants, and he has his thing out,” whispered Mildred.
“Well, don’t worry about it,” said Marge, “At our age it isn’t anything we haven’t seen before.”
“Yes,” said Mildred, “But this one’s eating my popcorn!”
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