(Another funny story from editor Mike Brown from 2014.)
The story goes that in every triumphal parade for a Roman emperor or general, someone was actually assigned to ride in the chariot with him.
Their sole duty was to whisper in the conquering hero’s ear. Phrases like “all glory is fleeting” or “this too shall pass” or “your toga is unzipped.”
Okay, maybe not the last one. But the point was that the hero should not get too pleased about anything, life being what it is, there’s always a down side coming.
You don’t have to be a Roman general or emperor to experience this feeling. Just be a parent. That provides the equivalent several times a day.
Last week, I was euphoric about a tremendous event, one that had never before happened in history.
The European Space Agency landed a probe on a comet, an amazingly difficult and important feat of technology and discovery.
Sitting at a home computer, I wanted to share this with my family. Kayla, 18-year-old step-daughter, was the only other one home.
Me: (Excited, voice rising) “Kayla, did you hear about the big news that happened today?”
Her: “No, what?”
Me: “They’ve landed a space probe on a comet!”
Her: “Why?”
Me: (Not the reaction I expected) “Uh. I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Her: “I said, ‘why’, why would they land a space probe on a comet?
Me: “Why, why, to study it, to find out what it’s made of. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before. To arm the phasers, to.......
Her: “But you’ve always told me comets were just ‘dirty snowballs,’ barren hunks of rock. You said a comet is the nearest thing to nothing that something can be and still be something. Is that it? (points)
Me: (Glancing at the screen where the picture sent back from Comet 67P does indeed look like a barren hunk of rock only slightly more inviting than western Nebraska): “Well, yes, but...”
Her: “Now what’s it going to do, once its there?”
Me: “Well, send back a bunch of information and then it will stay on the comet as it goes around the sun.”
Her: “So it’s not coming back?
Me: Well, no.
Her: Couldn’t afford a round trip ticket, huh?
Me: (Getting frustrated— Hint: This happens a lot at my house): “That’s not the point! This is like Lindbergh, like Neil Armstrong.”
Her: “What show are they on? Is that the one where ugly people run around naked?
Me: No! This is science, this is engineering. This is something that’s never happened before.”
Her: “Like you finding that website all by yourself.”
Me: “You don’t understand. They shot at something from earth, a moving target 2.5 miles wide, moving 84,000 miles an hour and hit it 317-million miles away.”
Her: “Oh, that reminds me. You left the toilet seat up again last night.”
Me: (Clicks to Google Search. Types in ‘justifiable homicide.)
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