SPOILIN’ THE BROTH
Neighbor Grover sez he thought it a strange way to open a conversation when his wife said, “You weren’t even listening, were you?”
Been a while since I offered up anything for your collection of religious humor, so here goes. Seems a nun asked her young students to write a note to God.
• Dear God, instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t you just keep the ones you have?—Johnny
• Dear God, maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It worked with my brother and me.—Larry
• Dear God, if you watch me in church Sunday, I’ll show you my new boots.— Mickey
• Dear God, I bet it’s hard for you to love everybody. There are only four people in our family and I can’t do it.—Nan
• Dear God, in school they told us what you do. Who does it when you’re on vacation?—Jane
• Dear God, I read the Bible. What does “begat” mean? Nobody will tell me.—Alison
• Dear God, are you really invisible or is it just a trick?—Lucy
• Dear God, is it true my father won’t get to heaven because of his golf words?— Anita
• Dear God, did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?—Norma
• Dear God, who draws those lines around the countries?—Nan
• Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right there in church. Is that okay?—Neil
• Dear God, did you really mean do unto others as they do unto you? Because if you did, I’m going to fix my brother good.—Darla
• Dear God, thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.—Joyce
• Dear God, when we come back as something, please don’t let me be Jennifer Horton. I can’t stand her.—Denise
• Dear God, I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big, except not with so much hair all over.—Sam
• Dear God, you don’t haves to worry about me. I always look both ways.— Dean
• Dear God, I think the stapler is one of your best inventions.—Ruth
• Dear God, I think about you sometimes even when I’m not praying.—Elliott
• Dear God, my brother told me about being born. He’s just kidding, right?— Marsha
• Dear God, we read Thomas Edison made light, But in Sunday School they said you did. I’ll bet he stole your idea.—Donna
• Dear God, I’d like to live 900 years like that guy in the Bible.—Chris
• Dear God, I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made Tuesday. That was cool.—Sara
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