How often should I forgive?

You will find the passage in the 18th chapter of Matthew: Peter comes to Jesus and asks, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how of ten should I forgive? As many as seven times?

Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but I tell you, seventy times seven.” Of course, the implication of Jesus’ words is that there should be no limit to forgiveness. Why might this be so? Because there is no limit to the times God forgives us. And why is this? Because there will be no limit in our lives to the times we behave or speak or desire against God’s will.

John Donne confesses this human tendency in A Hymn to God the Father: “Wilt thou forgive that sin where I begun, Which was my sin, though it were done before?

“Wilt thou forgive that sin, through which I run, And do run still, though still I do deplore?

“When thou hast done, thou hast not done, For I have more.

“Wilt thou forgive that sin which I have won Others to sin, and made my sin their door?

“Wilt thou forgive that sin which I did shun A year or two, but wallow’d in, a score?

“When thou hast done, thou hast not done, For I have more.”

Accepting our human tendency to sin, by commission or omission, could be a first step in walking up the road to peace with ourselves and with God. You remember the story of Noah. The Lord saw only wickedness on the earth (Noah being the exception) and flooded the world. When t he w aters r eceded, God promised to never again curse the world because of humankind, “for the inclination of the human heart is evil always.”

The flood does not change humankind but does change God. God decides to put up with the state of evil. Destruction of the relationship is not the solution. God 'stays' with people just because they are sinful, and God desires their salvation and redemption! Then how are we to address this tendency in ourselves? Let me share with you a piece of wisdom learned from a juggling instructor. The number one reason that most people don’t know how to juggle is they don’t know how to fail. Like many things, it takes practice and there are a lot of failures when you’re learning. The ball drops a lot. A really important skill when learning to juggle is to simply pick up the dropped balls and try again. When you drop it again, pick it up again.

Experts have measured the success of world-class athletes and what worldclass athletes tell themselves after a failure. Their mindset is the difference between success and failure. They need to fail without giving themselves negative feedback. If you’re juggling and drop a ball you don’t tell yourself that you can never juggle. You tell yourself that you just have to keep trying.

By the way, and this is for free, you can use this same technique with your children. Children have this natural tendency to drop things on the floor and leave them there. Sometime, tell your children you want to play a game with them. It’s called Pick Up. Everyone stands in a circle with a toy in their hands. When you say, “Drop,” everyone drops what’s in their hands. Then smile and say, “Pick up,” and everyone bends over and picks up their toy, or object, or dirty socks. And then you repeat the game “seventy times seven.” I have no idea if this game really works but I thought of it last week after the grandkids left.