How to win friends

Lift up your eyes

In 1936 Dale Carnegie published his book, “How To Win Friends and Infl uence People.” Since then it has gone through over 35 printings and has sold millions of copies. It’s success, no doubt, was due to the fact that its subject matter—getting along with people—is something that concerns and interests all of us.

I was reminded of Carnegie’s book recently when I ran across a plaque entitled, “The Ten Commandments of How to Get along With People.” I would like to share its wisdom with you.

1. Keep skid chains on your tongue; always say less than you think. Cultivate a low persuasive voice. How you say it often counts more than what you say.

2. Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully, no matter what it costs you.

3. Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind and encouraging thing to or about somebody. Praise good work done regardless of who did it. If criticism is needed, criticize helpfully, never spitefully.

4. Be interested in others; interested in their pursuits, their welfare, their homes and families. Make merry with those who rejoice; with those who weep, mourn. Let everyone you meet, however humble, feel that you regard him as one of importance.

5. Be cheerful. Keep the corners of your mouth turned up. Hide your pains, worries and disappointments under a smile. Laugh at good stories and learn to tell them.

6. Preserve an open mind on all debatable questions. Discuss, but do not argue. It is a mark of superior minds to disagree and yet be friendly.

7. Let your virtues, if you have any, speak for themselves and refuse to talk of another’s vices. Discourage gossip. Make it a rule to say nothing of another unless it is something good.

8. Be careful of another’s feelings. Wit and humor at the other fellow’s expense are rarely worth the effort and may hurt where least expected.

9. Pay no attention to ill-natured remarks about you. Simply live that nobody will believe them. Disordered nerves and a bad digestion are a common cause of backbiting.

10. Don’t be too anxious about your dues. Do your work, be patient and keep your disposition sweet, forget self, and you will be rewarded.

Clyde Nichols is a retired minister, having served First Christian Church in Temple for 27 years as senior minister. He is the author of three books of devotionals and writes a religious column for several Texas newspapers, including The Reporter.