Dictionaries are our friends whether they be books or online. I know I use them all the time to look up word meanings and spellings. They give us the most succinct answer possible as a rule.
Here’s what would happen if they were very honest.
Clapping—(verb) Repeatedly high fiving yourself for someone else’s accomplishments.
Study—(verb) The act of texting, eating and watching TV with an open textbook nearby.
Synonym—(noun) A word used in place of the one you can’t spell.
College essays—(noun) A point in your life where you pour the largest amount of malarkey you can muster into a paper.
Tomorrow—(noun) The best time to do everything you had planned for today.
Poor—(adjective) When you have too much month left over at the end of your money.
Irony—(noun) Drawing trees on paper.
Ohhhhhh—(interjection) I don’t get what you said but I’m going to pretend I do.
Pets—(noun) The only members of your family that you actually like.
Procrastinate—(verb) What you are doing right now. Finish your work after you finish reading the paper.
Relief—(noun) The feeling you get when someone else cancels plans that you were planning on canceling anyway.
Feet—(noun) A device used for finding Legos in the dark.
Best friends—(noun) The people you can get mad at for only a short period of time because you have important stuff to tell them.
Single—(noun) A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen.
Teacher—(noun) A person who helps you solve problems that you wouldn’t have in the first place without them.
English—(noun) A language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other lan guages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary.
Immature—(adjective) A word used by boring people to describe fun people.
Alphabets—(noun) Things were fine until they started showing up in math equations.
Texting—(verb) A great way to miscommunicate how you feel and misinterpret what other people mean.
Bae—(noun) The Danish word for poop. Also used by people on the internet who thinks it means baby or sweetie.
Vegetarian—(noun) A bad hunter. A person who survives by consuming not food, but the stuff that food eats.
Golf—(noun) An excuse for old fat men to say they still play a sport.
Failure—(noun) Misspelling a word so badly that there are no spelling suggestions.
Proofreading—(verb) We do it best after we’ve hit send.
English teachers—(noun) People who put more thoughts into a novel than the original author ever did.
Autocorrect—(noun) A little elf inside your phone who’s trying so hard to be helpful but is, in fact, quite drunk.
Tradition—(noun) Peer pressure from dead people. kyle@rockdalereporter.com
- Log in or Subscribe to post comments.