Someone sent this poem to me. In the back of my mind I think I’ve seen it before, but it made me laugh all over again, so it’s worth sharing.
Susie Lee done fell in love She planned to marry Joe. She was so happy ‘bout it all She told her pappy so.
Pappy told her, “Susie gal You’ll have to find another I’d just as soon yo’ Ma don’t know But Joe is yo’ half brother.
So Susie put aside her Joe And planned to marry Will, But after telling Pappy this He said there’s trouble still.
You can’t marry Wlil, my gal And please don’t tell yo’ mother But Will and Joe and several mo’ I know if yo’ half brother.
But Mama knew and said, my child Just do what makes you happy. Marry Will or marry Joe You ain’t no kin to pappy.
—kwc— And here’s another oldie but a goodie.
Due to a power outage, the house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a three-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.
Little Connor was born The paramedic lifted him by his feet and spanked him on his bottom and the baby began to cry.
The paramedic then asked the wide-eyed threeyear- old what she thought abut what she had just seen.
She quickly responded, “He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place. Spank him again.”
—kwc— “I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around.”
“Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.”
“The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.”
“My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.”
“My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.”
“I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.”
“I’m sorry and “I apologize mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.”
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.” What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
“My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.”
“If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.”
Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What’s the process of applying for a job at Hooters? They just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out.”
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