SPOILIN’ THE BROTH
After roaming the sidelines shooting Friday-night football action for 40-plus years, I became a “fan-in-the-grandstand” about 15 years ago.
Peg and I have had the same reserve seats over that time, seats 15 and 16 on the top row against the press-box, Row 16, I believe.
Last week’s front-page architect’s rendering of the new Tiger Field carried thrilling information for me. The reserved-seat seating, shown in blue in that illustration, will be bench seats with BACKS! Halleuja!
When you’re long in the tooth, being able to lean back at a game is a great comfort.
Can’t wait to buy my reserve seats again this summer. Bigger bargain than ever. No reason to lug stadium seats up there any more, unless you want a little cushion for your bottom.
—bc—If you’ve ever seen our Communities in Concert Band perform, you know it is made up of a diverse group of people from all walks of life.
A prime example is one Milton Hall of Caldwell, an accomplished French Horn player and a retired state trooper. I have come to know “Trooper Hall” as a connoisseur of good humor, because he occasionally emails me some gems. You can thank him for this:
Studies have shown rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they do not understand the seriousness of medical terminology. Examples:
• Bacteria—Rear door to the cafeteria.
• Barium—What doctors do when patients die.
• Artery—The study of paintings.
• Benign—What you be after you be eight.
• Cesarean section— Neighborhood in Rome.
• Cat scan—Looking for kitty.
• Cauterize—Made eye contact with her.
• Colic—Sheep dog.
• Coma—Punctuation mark.
• Dilate—To live long.
• Enema—Not a friend.
• Fester—Able to outrun someone else.
• Fibula—A small lie.
• Impotent—Distinguished, well known.
• Labor pain—A work injury.
• Medical staff—Doc’s walking stick.
• Morbid—Higher offer.
• Nitrates—Pay rate for working graveyard shift.
• Node—Already knew that.
• Outpatient—One who has fainted.
• Pelvis—Elvis’ cousin.
• Post operative—Letter carrier.
• Recovery room—Where you get new seat covers.
• Rectum—Nearly killed him.
• Secretion—Hiding something.
• Tablet—Small table.
• Terminal illness—Bug caught at the airport.
• Tumor—One plus one more.
• Urine—Opposite of you’re out.
- Log in or Subscribe to post comments.