FALLING FAR FROM THE TREE
When I lived in Houston I met a whole lot of people from Louisiana. A lot of them came over after Hurricane Katrina, but some just came for jobs because Houston is close to the border.
One of my coworkers, Alicia Breaux, used to talk to her mother regularly in the mornings before things got busy when we worked together at The Greensheet. Everyone within hearing distance in the big phone room always knew when she was talking to her mom because her Louisiana patois would come right back after hearing her mother’s voice.
Everyone I’ve ever met from Louisiana has been very nice and I always liked my Cajun friends. Here’s is something I ran across that titled “Twenty Ways to Know You’re From Louisiana” and I can vouch for several of these. And some are also definitely Houston things as well.
• You can properly pronounce Lafayette, Bossier, Natchitoches, Opelousas, Shongaloo, Pontchartrain, Ouachita, and you know that New Orleans doesn’t have a long “e” sound anywhere in it.
• You think people who complain about the heat in their states are pansies.
• A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
• You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.
• Stores don’t have bags, they have sacks.
• You’ve seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.
• You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
• You measure distance in minutes.
• Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions.
• You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
• You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
• You know cowpatties are not made of beef.
• Someone you know has used a LSU football schedule to plan their wedding date.
• You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.
• You aren’t surprised to find movie rental, ammunition and bait all in the same store.
• A Mercedes Benz isn’t a status symbol. A Ford F-250 Extended Bed Crew Cab Powerstroke is a status symbol.
• You know everything goes better with ‘Tony’s’.
• You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.
• You’re not offended by the term “coonass.” If anything, it’s a compliment.
• Finally, you are 100% Louisianian if you have ever had this conversation: “You wanna coke?” “Yeah.” “What kind?” “Dr Pepper.” -kwc A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him in the head with a frying pan.
“What was that for?’ the man asked.
The wife replied “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket.”
The man then said, “When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.” The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon regaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied, “Your horse phoned.”
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