Since laughter is the best medicine, how about a little school humor to start us off?
Teacher: How old is your father?
Student: He is six years old.
Teacher: What? How is that possible?
Student: He became a father only when I was born.
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: That’s correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.
Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’-
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that’s wrong.
Glenn: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
Teacher: Clyde, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No sir; it’s the same dog.
Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.
I recently asked a student where his homework was. He replied, “It’s still in my pencil.”
Jimmy had trouble figuring out when to use I instead of me. Then one day, while creating a sentence in front of the first-grade class, Jimmy haltingly said, “I…I…I shut the door.” Realizing that he was right, he jumped up and down and shouted, “Me did it!”
My sixth-grade class would not leave me alone for a second. It was a constant stream of “Ms. Osborn?” “Ms. Osborn?” “Ms. Osborn?”
Fed up, I said firmly, “Do you think we could go for just five minutes without anyone saying ‘Ms. Osborn’?”
The classroom got quiet. Then, from the back, a soft voice said, “Um…Cyndi?
On the last day of the year, my first graders gave me beautiful handwritten letters. As I read them aloud, my emotions got the better of me and I started to choke up.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m having a hard time reading.”
One of my students said, “Just sound it out.”
The kids were painting a project for social studies and got some paint on the floor. Fearing someone might slip, I asked a student to take care of it.
A few minutes later, a piece of paper appeared on the floor with the words “Caution – Wet Paint.”
—kwc—
And speaking of education, I went to school here then went to college. On Friday, our office manager, Suzy Ammon, took a well deserved vacation and left me in charge of all front office duties.
I am so stupid that I couldn’t even figure out how to open the cash register, so everyone who came in for copies or faxes got them for free. A missed opportunity for the rest of you.
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