I love everything about oxymorons. I think they are so funny and I even love saying the word.
The one we’ve all been saying since last year is social distancing. Whoever came up with that either needs a pat on the back or to be shot. I’m not sure which. Here are a few others.
Liquid gas.
Small crowd.
Open secret.
Pretty ugly.
Original copy.
Only choice.
Act naturally.
Found missing.
Fully empty.
Alone together..
Amazingly awful.
Bittersweet.
Clearly confused.
Dark light.
Deafening silence.
Definite maybe.
Genuine imitation.
Good grief.
Peacekeeper missile.
Sweet tart.
Living fossil.
Fairly accurate.
Baggy tights.
Elevated subway.
Freezer burn.
Cold sweat.
Growing smaller.
Half dead.
Taped live.
Working holiday.
Exact estimate.
Minor crisis.
Seriously funny.
Samuel Goldwyn, is probably the most well known Hollywood studio head that there ever has been.
In addition to being famous for making lots of well-know movies from the 1920s to the 1950s, he was also famous for his humor. Here are a few of his funny oxymorons.
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.
Include me out.
A hospital is no place to be sick.
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
Don't worry about the war. It's all over but the shooting.
Gentlemen, I want you to know that I am not always right, but I am never wrong.
Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.
It’s more than magnificent. It’s mediocre.
If Roosevelt were alive, he’d turn over in his grave.
I’ll give you a definite maybe.
If you fall and break your legs, don’t come running to me.
I never put on a pair of shoes until I’ve worn them five years .
I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
I was always an independent, even when I had partners.
I paid too much for it, but it’s worth it.
I can give you a definite perhaps.
It's absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities.
Our comedies are not to be laughed at.
I never liked you, and I always will.
Spare no expense to save money on this one.
The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying.
Tell them to stand closer apart.
When told his son was getting married: Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
We’re overpaying him, but he’s worth it.
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