(Here is a column from publisher emeritus Bill Cooke from Sept. 29, 2016. Enjoy!)
Neighbor Grover sez a clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
Pardon me while I air a pet peeve. Maybe some of you have the same one. Maybe not.
Love watching college football on television and admit to a pretty sedentary lifestyle on Saturdays during the fall.
But, why is it that they never show the marching bands at halftime? Instead, we get anywhere from two to six talking heads telling us what we just saw in the first half, just in case we didn’t know what we saw, or understand it.
College halftime shows are real spectacles. I still get goosebumps when the Fighting Texas Aggie Band takes the field. And the UT Longhorn Band is truly a spectacular “Show Band of the Southwest.”
The preparation that goes into halftime shows is enormous, even at the high school level—and aren’t we all proud of Adrian Acevedo’s Big Blue Band product every Friday? Absolutely.
Luckily at Tiger Field and at the RHS road games, we get to see the halftime shows without interruption. But on Saturdays we’re lucky if we get a few seconds of those 200-member-plus college bands at halftime. Usually, we’re not even afforded that.
C’mon, talking heads. Take a potty break.
Just saying. —bc— Great to see all the gold at Tiger Field last Friday. Way to go, Rockdale fans. Second annual “Gold Out Rockdale Day” in the continuing fight against childhood cancer was another big success.
Hats off to the Pickel, Miller and Montelongo families for their continuing efforts to focus on a hideous disease and raise funds to find a cure.
—bc— Finally, our story-of-theweek. Jokes involving age seems to find me for some reason.
An old doctor became very bored in retirement and decided to reopen his medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s Clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not cured, get back $1,000.”
Enter “Doctor I.M. Young” (no relation, of course, to the late and great Rockdale physician Dr. Philip M. Young). This “Dr. I.M. Young” was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine and thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. So he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from Box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Aaagh !! “This is gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That’ll be $500.”
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”
Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from Box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr. Young: “Oh no you don’t. That’s gasoline!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr. Young, now down $1000, leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak. I can hardly see anything.”
Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so here’s your $1000 back.” And he hands him a $10 bill.
Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!”
Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”
There’s a moral to this, but as a geezer I can’t remember what it is. Guess I need 3 drops of gasoline.
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