FALLING FAR FROM THE TREE
Don’t forget to come to the library on Thursday from 4:30 to 6:30 p.m. for librarian Melanie Todd’s retirement party. She’s retiring after 30 years! See ad on page 7A. All are invited. —kwc— Vanished. My chicken, who just showed up one day out of the blue, has now vanished into thin air and I’m a little sad about it. If she found a warmer place to go than living in the woods, I would be happy about that. The problem is I don’t know where she went.
I searched the woods for signs of death, looking for feathers or a carcass, but found nothing out of the ordinary.
My friend, Gretchen McCord DeFlorio, told me that nature can be hard to accept. Her husband, Dominick, said “chickens are natures potato chips because every animal likes to eat them.” Which I guess is true, because even humans like to eat them.
I was more upset about it than I thought I’d be since we never got very close. I did come out of the house one morning and as I was walking along the driveway, she came running up to me squawking across the grass (but didn’t get very close) because I was late with her chicken scratch and mealworm breakfast.
I kind of want to get another one because it was fun having her around. Mom thinks I should get another pug instead, but she doesn’t realize how much pugs shed.
Speaking of mom, she also told me that the chicken would be gone if she sees any chicken poop where it shouldn’t be. And I’m not saying that happened, just that it is a possibility. —kwc— Here’s another good sample of church humor from Ashley McKee Karl: A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands of those who read Mark 17. Every hand went up.
The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.” —kwc— A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest were good friends. At a picnic one day, the priest was eating a ham sandwich. “You know,” he said to his friend, “this ham sandwich is delicious. I know you’re not supposed to eat ham, but I don’t understand why such a good thing would be forbidden. When will you break down and try it?”
To which the rabbi replied, “At your wedding.” —kwc— A mother went to wake her son for church one Sunday morning. When she knocked on his door, he said, “I’m not going!”
“Why not?” asked his mother.
“I’ll give you two good reasons,” he said. “One, they don’t like me. Two, I don’t like them.”
His mother replied, “I’ll give you two good reasons why YOU WILL go to church. One, you’re 47 years old. Two, you’re the pastor!”
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