If you get your prescriptions at Walmart you probably know Ashley McKee Karl because she works in the pharmacy. She sends me good jokes fairly often and I’m sharing them with you: Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married.
They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.
Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”
The pharmacist answers “Yes.”
Jacob: “We’re about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?”
Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”
Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
Pharmacist: “All kinds.”
Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis? “
Pharmacist: “Definitely.” Jacob: “How about Viagra?”
Pharmacist: “Of course.” Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?”
Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety. The works.”
Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”
Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”
Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers?”
Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes.”
Jacob says to the pharmacist: “Okay, we’d like to register here for our wedding gifts, please.” —kwc— Little Billy found out in Sunday School how humans were created. He paid special attention when the teacher said that Eve came from Adam’s rib.
One day his mother found him on the floor holding his side. She asked him what was wrong, and his answer was priceless, “My side hurts and I think I’m having a wife.” —kwc— Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, “What’s the first thing you see when you look at me?”
The guy says, “That’s not too hard, you’ve got no ears.”
The interviewer says, “That’s it, get out, you’ll never be seen around here again.”
The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question.
The applicant replies, “Uh, you’ve got no ears.”
The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he’ll never get a job with his company.
As the second guy is leaving, he warns the third guy, “Listen man, whatever you do, don’t say he hasn’t got any ears. He’s so touchy with the ear thing.”
“Okay,” said the third man on his way into the office.
Once inside he is told, “Name the first thing you notice when you look at me.”
The guy answers, “That’s easy, you wear contacts.”
The interviewer was flabbergasted, “How on earth did you know that?”
The applicant answered, “Because, you can’t wear glasses, you’ve got no ears.” —kwc— I go to KFC to get the kids something to eat. They wanted the kid’s meal with a leg, so I tell the lady at the drive through, “Three kid’s meals with a leg.”
The lady says, “Which side?”
I sit in complete silence as I heavily contemplated such an odd decision.
“I guess the right side? I don’t know what the difference is,” I told her.
After several moments of laugher she says, “No honey, which side would you like to go with the leg? Mashed potatoes or wedges?”
Jesus take the wheel. It’s been a long day.
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