Commentary

SPOILIN' THE BROTH

Basic differences between purse, suitcase
Bill Cooke

Neighbor Grover sez the greatest thing about the future is it always starts tomorrow.

Retired Rockdale ISD school teacher/admnistrator Geri Burnett sent along the following. It augments a similar list I printed some time back. She suggests this be shared with all men and with women who have a sense of humor. It's entitled:

Free Classes for Women

at Adult Learning Center

Due to complexity and difficulty of subjects, class sizes will be limited to eight participants. Pre-registration required.

Class 1: Up in Winter, Down in Summer

How to Adjust a thermostat, step-by-step with Power Point presentation. Meets 7 p.m. Mondays and Wednesdays for four weeks.

Class 2: Which Takes More Energy? Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Griping for 3 Hours?

Round-table discussion. Meets two consecutive Saturdays for one hour beginning at 2 p.m.

Class 3: Is It Possible to Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?

Art by Emily Rojas, a senior at Rockdale High School. Art by Emily Rojas, a senior at Rockdale High School. Group debate. Meets three consecutive Tuesdays, 6 p.m.

Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase

Pictures and explanatory graphics. Meets 3 p.m. for three consecutive Saturdays.

Class 5: Curling Irons: Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Bathroom Cabinet?

Examples on video. Meets four weeks, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7 p.m.

Class 6: How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Not During the Ball Game

Help line support and support group available. Meets 7 p.m. Fridays for four weeks.

Class 7: Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?

Open forum. Monday at 8 p.m., two hours.

Class 8: Health Watch—They Make Medicine for PMS, so Use It!

Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7 p.m. for two hours.

Class 9: I Was Wrong and He Was Right! Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesday at 6 p.m. for 30 minutes, if needed.

Class 10: How to Parallel Park in Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim

Driving simulations. Four Saturdays at noon, two hours.

Class 11: How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through Windshield

Tuesdays at 7 p.m., location to be determined.

Class 12: How to Shop by Yourself

Meets four weeks, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7 p.m.

Class 13: Taking a List to the Store; Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item

Cerebral shock therapy sessions offered. Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7 p.m. for two hours.

Class 14: The Cooktop/Oven: What It Is and How It Is Used.

Live demonstration. Tuesdays at 6 p.m. for four weeks, location to be determined.

—bc—

Correction—In a recent column, I identified Heisman trophy winner Gen. Pete Dawkins as the first split end (wideout) in college football when he played for Army before a distinguished and decorated military career.

Pete Dawkins was a running back. The "lonesome end," as the Army wideout was called, was Bill Carpenter who was later decorated for valor for callng in artillery on his own position during the Vietnam War to prevent his unit from being overrun.

Thanks to Reporter reader Ron Johnson of Round Rock (RHS Class of 1965), Sgt., U.S. Marine Corps, Viet Nam 1969-70, for sending this information.

bill@rockdalereporter.com


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2009-06-04 digital edition



The burn ban for Milam County has been lifted. Burning is always prohibited in the county's municipalities.


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