Commentary

In the beginning, we were thinner

Only newspaper and font nerds might have noticed our new logo and page headers.

Those who view our web site will soon notice some changes in it, too.

We were due some freshening up and I really like the new logo and it's "traditional, yet more modern."

Our last redesign was about five years ago and we've only done some minor tweaking since then. Of course, a paper's looks isn't what makes it good—it's a connection to its community. CNN and the large daily papers can't cover our local news, so we try our best to report and reflect the town, one that we love and have deep roots.

These are not Rockdale's best days, but we will do our best to maintain a good paper for you.

—kec— Brother Kyle and I are trying to see which one of us can keep his weight under control. He's doing better than I lately, though we have both eclipsed the 200- pound mark at times.

He sent me this, "A Nutritionist's View of Creation."

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and populated the earth with broccoli, spinach, green, red and yellow vegetables of all kinds so man and woman would live long, healthy lives.

Then, using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben & Jerry's ice cream and Krispy Kreme donuts. He asked, "Do you want chocolate with those?" And man answered, "Yes!" And woman added, "As long as you're at it, put some sprinkles on too!" They both gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

Then God created a healthful yogurt so woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. But Satan brought forth white f lour and sugar from the cane and combined them. And woman went from a size 6 to size 14.

Then God said, "Try my fresh green salad." But Satan added Ranch dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And man and woman unfastened their pants after this repast.

God said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." But Satan brought forth chicken fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light fluffy cake and called it "Angel Food Cake" and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and called it "Devil's Food."

God then created r unning shoes so his children might lose those extra pounds. But Satan created cable television and a remote control, so man would not have to toil to change the channel. Man and woman laughed and cried in front of the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

God created the potato, full of vitamins and naturally low in fat. But Satan sliced them thin and deep fried them in oil. And man gained more pounds.

Then God created lean beef so man's appetite for protein might be satisfied. But Satan created the "hamburger joint" with double cheeseburgers. Satan asked, "Do you want fries with that?" And man said, "Yes! And Super-Size them!" And man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

ken@rockdalereporter.com


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2009-06-04 digital edition



The burn ban for Milam County has been lifted. Burning is always prohibited in the county's municipalities.


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