Commentary

For that one, you need a sure-nuff carpenter

Neighbor Grover sez genes are the final weapon of parents who want to get even for the way their kids treated them.

Dalyn Ryan, a 5-year-old whose mother Trisha works at Kountry Inn Restaurant, occasionally stops by the adjoining Kountry Inn Motel office where Ann Schnerr works. A cute conversationalist, the youngster provides her with both advice and great stories, Ann says.

During a recent conversation, Dalyn offered to build Ann something. And the conversation went pretty much like this:

Ann: "Well you could build a large room on the back of my house."

Dalyn: "I can do that. What else to you want me to build?"

Ann: "How 'bout a big pond in back of my house so I can fish off my back porch?"

Dalyn: "Okay, and I'll put some little-bitty minnows in there, but you can't fish 'til they get big. What else do you want me to build?"

Ann: "How 'bout a roping pen for my grandson?"

Dalyn: "Yeah, I can build a roping pen."

Ann: "Well, if you can build all that, could you just build me a new house?"

Dalyn: "No ma'am. You'll have to get a carpenter for that."

—bc—

I'm not sure if the following is for your collection of religious humor, Texas folklore, or sports humor.

A ny way, it was sent to me by one Mark Brady, formerly of Rockdale ISD gifted and talented note. Mark has a remarkable sense of humor when you consider he lives next door to Bill Avrett. Anyway, here's Mark's story and he's sticking to it:

A Texan, having been a bad dude all his life, dies and is sent to hell. The devil puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledge hammer. To make it worse, he cranks up the temperature and humidity.

After a couple of days, the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately but finds the Texan happily swinging his hammer and whistling a tune. The devil says to him, "I don't understand. I've turned the heat way up, it's humid, you're crushing rocks. Why are you so happy?"

The Texan, with a big smile, replies, "This is great! It reminds me of August in Texas. Hot, humid, a good place to work. This is fantastic!"

Perplexed, the devil decides to drop the temperature, send down a driving rain and torrential wind. Soon, hell is a wet, muddy mess. The devil finds the Texan walking in mud up to his knees, happily pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rock.

Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in such conditions. The Texan says, "This is great. Just like April in Texas. Reminds me of spring planting."

Determined to make the guy suffer, the devil makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly hell is blanketed in snow and ice. Three days go by before the devil checks on the Texan, and he's again aghast at what he sees. The Texan is dancing for joy and singing.

"How can you be so happy? Don't you know its 40-below zero?" screams the devil.

The Texan throws a snowball at the devil and yells:

"Don't you see? Hell's frozen over! This means the Cowboys have won the Super Bowl!"

bill@rockdalereporter.com


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2009-08-13 digital edition



The burn ban for Milam County has been lifted. Burning is always prohibited in the county's municipalities.


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