Why men don't write advice columns

Neighbor Grover sez the best thing about being young is that if you have to do it over again, there's still time.

What with all the gridlock among our politicians and the far right and far left finding no middle ground, and what with all of us being a little selfish and smug in our viewpoints, maybe we should all take a deep breath and read James Patrick Kinney's poem, The Cold Within, to remind us of what's at stake:

Six humans trapped by happenstance,
In black and bitter cold.
Each one possessed a stick of wood,
Or so the story's told.
Their dying fire in need of logs,
The first woman held hers back,
For on the faces around the fire,
She noticed one was black.
The next man looking 'cross the way

Saw one not of his church,
And couldn't bring himself to give
The fire his stick of birch.
The third one sat in tattered clothes;
He gave his coat a hitch.
Why should his log be put to use
To warm the idle rich?
The rich man just sat back and
Of the wealth he had in store,
And how to keep what he had earned
From the lazy, shiftless poor.
The black man's face bespoke
As the fire passed from his sight,
For all he saw in his stick of wood
Was a chance to spite the white.
And the last man of this forlorn group
Did naught, except for gain.
Giving only to those who gave,
Was how he played the game.
The logs held tight in death's still
Was proof of human sin.
They didn't die from the cold without.
They died from the cold within.

Thanks to Diane Fishero for

sending the poem to her mom, Susie Weems, who sent it to me.


From the sublime to the ridiculous, humor from the Outlaw Daug hter-in-L aw Chr ist ine, entitled, Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns:

Dear John,

I hope you can help me. The other day I left for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car began stalling and finally broke down about two miles down the road and I had to walk back to get my husband's help.

When I got home, I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with our neighbor's daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is barely 20. We have been married for 10 years. When I confronted him, he admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I am a total emotional wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help?



Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps, John


I ran across this the other day and when you stop and think about it, it's really profound. It's said to be an old African proverb:

The problem of the thief is not how to steal the chief's bugle, but where to blow it.


Finally, for your farm humor column:

A man traveling the Hill Country stopped at a small roadside market and bought some peaches. When he commented that they were small, the farmer replied, "Yep."

Returning a few days later, the man remarked that the peaches had not been very flavorful. The farmer nodded and said, "Lucky they were small, ain't it?"

Click here for digital edition
2009-10-22 digital edition

Copyright 2009-2017 Rockdale Reporter, All Rights Reserved.

Special Sections

Special Sections