Well, Santa, why do you sneak up on the house?

Rockdale’s kids have asked Santa for all kinds of goodies this year (see special section) and once again going through their letters reminds me of the Over the Hill Parents Rule.

Which is: “Once your kids are past the toy stage, you have no idea what children are talking about when they ask for the hot new toys each year.”

I remember getting my kids game boys and thinking that was about as high tech as we could ever attain.

Man, was I ever wrong.

There are so many “virtual” gifts out there I noticed many kids differentiate their requests between “real” and “fake.”

Olivia Barker, for instance, asked Santa for a “fake phone and a real gun.”

Wonder if we can talk to Santa and see if that can’t be reversed.

Devyn Smith asks: “I want my brother to get a green frog” and explains, “My brother has been picking up real frogs.”

Then there’s Sonya Salomon who asked for “a real baby cat and a fake dog.”

Got news for you, Sonya, those real baby cats grow up to be, well, cats!

I see the “fake” manufacturers, especially dolls, are getting ahead of reality.

Kaitlyn Rash asked for “a baby that uses the toilet, washes its hands and brushes its teeth.”

I was glad if the kids I had a part in raising scored one out of three on that list!

Then there are those kids who know exactly what they want.

Raymond Brown wants “Star Wars fighters, 73 of them.”

Not 50, not 75, exactly 73.

I’ll bet Christian Briggs’ request was one of the more unique ones. He asked for “A Texas jacket and an OU hat.”

I ought to forward that hat request to my cousin and her husband who are school teachers in Norman, Oklahoma, but they’ve kind of stopped talking to anyone south of the Red River this year.

Heh, heh.

Then there are those who seem to have heard some news from the North Pole the rest of us have missed.

“How are you?” Jessica Marcano asks. “Did anyone get hurt?”

I’m kind of worried, too.

Peyton Bell urged Santa to “get plenty of rest, you’ve got a big night ahead.”

And Nelson Bleeker wants the rules clarified. “Can you break a Christmas promise?” he asks. “Yes or no. When you get this letter, circle one.”

Then there are, of course, the deal makers.

Lexi Langford thinks she deser ves Chr istmas goodies because she “barely even fought with my little sister Laylee.”

Lots of kids went the milk and cookies route but, Santa, if you want to pick me up Thursday night for one stop in Rockdale I want to go with you to Tatiana Oliveras’ house.

“If you come to our house we will leave you tamales,” she writes.

That’s my idea of a snack, too.

There’s always one Santa writer whom you can tell is headed for bigger and better things once they’re out of school.

This year it was Julie Bartsch who already has the makings of a trial lawyer. Her letter isn’t so much a list of toys as a crossexamination. Such as, Santa:

• Why do you wear a red hat?

• Why do you have flying reindeer?

• Why do you always have a big, red sleigh?

• Why do you always f ly in your sled looking at your reindeer while they are flying?

• Why do you always sneak up on the house?

Come to think of it, Santa, why do you always sneak up on the house?

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2009-12-24 digital edition

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