Commentary

SPOILIN’ THE BROTH

A story for the season from Transylvania
Bill Cooke

Neighbor Grover sez he wonders, if Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

In keeping with the season of Jack-O-Lanterns, costume contests, Halloween trick-ortreating and Fall Festivals, here’s a story you will find timely and entertaining.

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe near Transylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining so hard that Bob could barely see the road.

Suddenly, the car skidded out of control. Bob attempted to control the car, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes head-on into a huge tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding. Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road in the rain. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large old house. He approaches the door and bangs on it with the huge iron knockers.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, “Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We’ve been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?”

“I’m sorry,” replied the hunchback, “but we don’t have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in, and I will get him.”

Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. “I’m afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor, I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory.”

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor’s master looks worried. “Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion.” Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills’ deaths upset Igor’s master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty’s hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob’s arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, Igor dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:

“Master, Master!”

“Yes Igor? What is it?”

And Igor shouts at top of his lungs:

“The Hills are alive with the sound of music!”

—bc—

Okay, it was a groaner. And you’re groaning, aren’t you? I’ll not tell you the name of the reader who provided this story, fearing for her safety. But I sure appreciate her sending it.

For Halloween events, check out the church news on our Faith page for Fall Festival and Trunkor Treat opportunities, and also the Organizations news on page 5B for still more.

—bc—

And don’t forget these famous words:

“If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.”— John Kenneth Galbraith, 1908 - 2006

bill@rockdalereporter.com


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2010-10-28 digital edition



The burn ban for Milam County has been lifted. Burning is always prohibited in the county's municipalities.


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