Commentary

SPOILIN’ THE BROTH

Still hard to figure how we lost that war

Neighbor Grover sez if work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? O kay, this story of the week comes courtesy of Mary

Jane Boyd and is hereby delivered with apologies to all the good Yankee friends I have known since Alcoa started shipping them to this “outpost” Rockdale 59 years ago.

Title, let’s say, is “Southern Ingenuity.”

One morning, three Carolina good ‘ole boys and three Yankees were in a ticket line at the Greenville train station, heading to Charlotte for a big football game.

The three Northerners each bought a ticket and watched as the three Southerners bought just one ticket among them.

“How are the three of you going to travel on one ticket?” asked one of the Yankees. “Watch and see,” answered one of the boys from the South.

When the six travelers boarded the train, the three Yankees sat down, but the three Southerners crammed into a bathroom together and closed the door.

Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around to collect tickets. He knocked on the bathroom door and said, “Tickets please.” The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The Conductor took it and moved on.

The Yankees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea, so clever that they decided to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

That evening after the game when they got to the Charlotte train station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip while to their astonishment the three Southerners didn’t buy even one ticket.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” asked one of the perplexed Yankees. “Watch and see,” answered one of the Southern boys.

When they boarded the train the three Northerners crammed themselves into a bathroom and the three Southerners crammed themselves into the other bathroom across from it.

Shortly after the train began to move, one of the Southerners left their bathroom, walked quietly over to the Yankees’ bathroom, knocked on the door and said, “Ticket please.”

Still hard to figure how we lost the Civil War, isn’t it?

—bc—

Our world is high-tech with amazing new stuff emerging virtually every day, and the criminals are staying on top of tech too.

So said our fine Police Chief Thomas Harris the other day as he spoke to the Rockdale Rotary Club.

“ Scammers are high- tech,” he said, explaining that today’s high-definition copiers and printers enable people to get pretty clever in forgeries and to crank out counterfeit $10 and $20 bills. These are not perfect, of course, and merchants have ways of checking, but some get passed.

Chief Harris noted that there have even been cases of a $1 bill converted to a $100 bill.

In the bigger cities, he said, crooks have developed “wands” that they can pass close to a billfold or purse and glean credit card information. That led one Rotarian to note that there are companies now making aluminum billfolds to prevent such.

It hasn’t happened here, the chief said, but there have been cases reported in the cities of people using devices to glean credit card information from selfserve fuel pumps.

Chief Har r is r uns a great department. They stay on top of things. Several years ago the department devised a point system to evaluate officer performances, and the department awards an Officer of the Month.

On Saturday, Jan. 29, the RPD’s annual Officer of the Year banquet and dance will be held at 6 p.m. at the Knights of Columbus Hall. Tickets, $20, are on sale at the police station. A catered meal is included.

It’s a great event, and a great time to say thanks to “Rockdale’s finest.” See you there.


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2011-01-20 digital edition



The burn ban for Milam County has been lifted. Burning is always prohibited in the county's municipalities.


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