How did we ever live without bottled water?

While trying to come up with my “The 5ive” list that I tack on to the end of my column each week, the subject that randomly popped into my head was things that we used to live without but can’t seem to live without now.

A short list of irritants quickly came to mind. Inventions that we were quite capable of getting along without back in the day.

One of the great historical tales that is passed down from our fathers and grandfathers is how rough it was on them just to get to school.

“I used to walk three miles in the snow. Barefooted. Uphill. Both ways. With an anvil around my neck. And I was glad to do it.”

I wonder what my generation’s sad tale will be, with our grandchildren at our knees.

“When I was a kid, we had to drink water out of a faucet... in a glass... we got out of the kitchen cabinet. Oh, the horror!”

Or, “We had to get in the car, drive down to the bank, go inside and write a check (a printed piece of paper) before we could get any money. You had to show them your driver’s license picture... please, I can’t talk about it any more.”

H20 H20 So, with that in mind, here is my very extended “5ive” list.

Definitely No. 1 on my list is cell phones.

I guess I could come up with five reason why I hate cell phones, but that would be monotonous.

How in the world did we ever get along without these pocket pests?

The last phone I had, had a camera and every time I sat down or crossed my legs, it took a picture. Cha-click!

Once, step-daughter Kennedy downloaded the pictures from my cell phone and there were 436 pictures of the inside of my pocket on there.

Most of the time I wanted to fling it out of my car window and watch it go skidding down the highway.

My new phone is designed for, well, dummies.

It doesn’t have a camera. It has no apps, which means I can’t waste my time playing solitare or that popular farm game.

It can’t tell my car where to go when I’m lost.

What it is, is square, it has large numbered buttons and when it rings, it sounds like... a phone.

I can call people, they can call me. (It also has a cool flashlight in the phone.)

Remember when you sought out the nearest water fountain to get a drink of water. They all look like rusty oil field wells now.

Now, every where you go, half the people are grasping water bottles as if it is some kind of status symbol.

“Hey look, I’m carrying a bottle of water!”

As I sit in my comfortable chair, staring at my 50-inch television with the HD, and incessantly flipping through the 6,547 channels that my dish provider provides, again I think back to my childhood.

For most of my early life, we had two television channels.

Want to know why shows like Bonanza and Gunsmoke were so popular for 20 years? They were the only thing on.

There was one movie a week. I now have access to every movie ever made at an instant.

Now, I’m watching shows about pawn shops and buying storage spaces.

Please tell me, as a society— technologically—we’ve come a long way...right?

The 5ive

Here are the five things I wonder how we ever lived without: 1. Cell phones. 2. Bottled water 3. Debit cards 4. Cable television 5. Eating out

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2011-10-13 digital edition

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