Commentary

Good humor tends to recirculate, thankfully

Neighbor Grover sez the problem with the gene pool is there’s no lifeguard. M y late good friend Bill

Burkhart once said that he felt the only original thought nowadays is undetected plagiarism.

Likew ise, good humor just keeps recirculating. I’m pretty sure this story first appeared in The Reporter in my father’s popular humor column, Rambling, back in the 1940s. And I’m pretty sure I’ve printed it, maybe within the last 20 years ago. Anyway, it arrived via email from the gifted and talented educator of young minds, Mark Brady. Enjoy:

For Christmas, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The grocery store manager’s daughter brought a basket of fruit.

The florist’s son brought a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor store owner’s son brought up a box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

“Is it wine?” she guessed.

“No,” the boy replied.

She tasted another drop and asked,” Scotch?”

“No,” said the little boy, “It’s a puppy.”

—bc—

If I were a school teacher, I’d have a hard time flunking the kid who came up with these exam answers (which were sent along by Hal Reagan):

Q. In which battle did Napoleon die?

A. His very last one.

Q. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

A. At the bottom of the page.

Q. River Ravi flows in which state?

A. Liquid.

Q. What is the main reason for divorce?

A. Marriage.

Q. What is the main reason for failure?

A. Exams.

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?

A. Lunch and dinner.

Q. What looks like half an apple?

A. The other half.

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?

A. Wet.

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?

A. No problem; he sleeps at night.

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?

A. Extremely large hands.

Q. If it took eight men 10 hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

A. No time; the wall is already built.

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

A. Concrete floors are impossible to crack with an egg. bill@rockdalereporter.com


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2012-01-19 digital edition



The burn ban for Milam County has been lifted. Burning is always prohibited in the county's municipalities.


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