Commentary

Does sugarfree jello ever relieve stress?

I am loving this rain! After last year’s summer’s heat, did you ever imagine we would be enjoying heavy rain in July?

Bill and I walked to our cars Tuesday evening and got soaked. It was awesome.

He opened the back door and said “Just wait here and I’ll go get your car and drive it to the door so you don’t have to get wet.”

I said “Who do you think I am, Aunt Bea?”

No way. I not only walked slowly to my Buick Rendezvous, which was parked across the parking lot, but I splashed in a few puddles along the way just for good measure.

I actually turned my air conditioner off in the car.

Love this weather!

-kc-

And now to a much more somber, sad topic.

Ever since my stupid brother lost 30 pounds on the “Wheat Belly” diet, it has gotten harder and harder to ignore my own “weighted” issue.

He even posted Before and After photos of himself on Facebook. That was the worst Before picture I’ve ever seen of him, he looked like Marty Allen.

But now he looks like Hugh Jackman in his size 32s. And yes, I am proud of him.

Grrrrr.

The problem as I see it is not that I don’t know what to do about it.

The problem is that I don’t want to do it.

I do not want to get up and exercise at 5 a.m. I do not want to stop eating carbs and sugar.

In this age of technology, why can’t they invent a magic, easy solution to weight loss?

I mean, there are several Viagra-type medicines on the market today. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to have taken care of the, uh, bulk issue first?

When I get home after a typical Monday and Tuesday at work, what am I supposed to do to relax and relieve stress?

Did you ever hear anyone say “Man, I had a bad day at work. I am going to dive off into this sugar-free jello and relax?”

No, you didn’t. And you won’t. Ever.

So the only logical thing to do, since margaritas and oreos aren’t options anymore, is to relieve stress by exercising.

I know that once I start exercising, I’ll feel better than any margarita or oreo could ever make me feel. I know it is a high like no other.

I started low carb as of Monday. I am going to start exercising this week also.

I remember when I used to keep a $10 bill for emergencies tucked in my cleavage.

Now I keep my debit card there instead.

Plus my cell phone, my car keys and a diet Mountain Dew.

Okay, okay, I get it!


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2012-07-12 digital edition



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