Commentary

A sense of humor helps in this business

Neighbor Grover sez the only time the world beats a path to his door is when he’s in the bathroom. Y ou don’t have to have a sense of humor to work for a community newspaper, but it sure helps.

Glad to report that sports editor Bill Martin (he’s just like a son-in-law to me), was back at his keyboard last week, recovering from emergency foot surgery that required the removal of the pinky toe and a related bone on his left foot.

One of Bill’s first comments: “This is terrible. Now I can only count to 19!”

So if you’re reading about the Tigers this week and you notice that they completed 19 of 19 passes for 19 yards, please understand.

—bc—

This issue is going to press on Halloween which means if you get your paper Wednesday afternoon your doorbell will interrupt you while you’re reading this rag. Or, if you get it by mail on Thursday, you can read it after you finish picking up the candy wrappers in your front yard.

The following Halloween yarn made the rounds this week:

A man is walking home alone late one foggy night when behind him he hears:

Bump...

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP...

BUMP...

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER...

BUMP...

BUMP...

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping.

Clappity-BUMP...

Clappity-BUMP...

Clappity-BUMP... On his heels, the terrified man runs.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door!

It’s bumping and clapping toward him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...and, (hopefully you're ready for this!)

The coffin stops.

—bc—

I heard that. I heard you groan.

I heard you call me a name.

—bc—

Finally, the latest monthly statistics on airport screening from the Department of Homeland Security:

• Terrorists discovered............0
• Transvestites......................133
• Hernias............................1,485
• Hemorrhoid cases..........3,172
• Enlarged prostates........8,249
• Breast implants............59,531
• Natural blonds.....................3

bill@rockdalereporter.com


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2012-11-01 digital edition



The burn ban for Milam County has been lifted. Burning is always prohibited in the county's municipalities.


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