Big difference between ‘complete’ and ‘finished’
Neighbor Grover sez they told him he had Type-A blood, but it turned out to be a Type-O. Y arn of the week was submitted by Shirley Luetge, former office manager here at The Reporter, now retired to spreading good cheer by cyberspace. Enjoy:
No dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.
However, in a recent linguistic conference in London, England attended by some of the best linguists in the world, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clear winner.
His challenge was this: Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. Please explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand.
Here is his astute answer:
“When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED.”
His answer was received with a standing ovation lasting more than five minutes and it earned him an invitation to dine with the Queen who decided to call him after the contest.
He won a trip around the world in style and a case of 25-year-old Eldorado rum for his answer.
And, courtesy of Col. Harold Lee Parsley Jr., here’s a somewhat fresh version of “You Know You Grew Up in a Small Town Because....”
• You can name everyone you graduated with.
• You know what 4-H and FFA mean.
• You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, river bank or in the middle of a dirt road.
• You used to “drag” (cruise) the town’s main street.
• The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
• You didn’t give directions by street names. “Go two blocks past Anderson’s, turn left and it’s the third house on the right.”
• The golf course had only nine holes with sand greens or cotton seed hull greens. (That’s reaching way back. Rockdale once had a five-hole course in the middle of the Fair Park race track. It had sand greens. My dad told me my grandfather used to play it.—B.C.)
• You couldn’t help but date a friend’s ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.
• Your car stayed filthy because of the dirt roads, and you’ll never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
• Anyone you wanted could be found at the “filling station,” the DQ or the pool hall.
• You saw at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town. In fact, you probably started driving a tractor to plow or shred by the time you were 10.
• The coach (there was only one) suggested you haul hay and load watermelons in the summer to get stronger.
• If you walked somewhere, five people would offer you a ride.
• Your teachers called you by your older siblings’ names.
• You could charge at any local store or write counter checks without any ID.
• People used reel-type/push lawn mowers.
• You and all your friends went by nicknames.
• The car/truck you drove belonged to dad and was probably the only family vehicle besides the tractor.
• Most high school boys could tune a car’s engine.
• Stores stayed open late on Saturdays because that’s when everybody came to town.
• Farmers could “trade” their eggs/milk/cream/chickens for groceries and other goods at the local stores. (And also for a subscription to the weekly paper.)