Commentary

SPOILIN’ THE BROTH

2016: nation’s first woman president; Ole is proud
Bill Cooke

Neighbor Grover sez he finds it funny that people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground. F inally, another story involving one of our favorite characters, Ole, of Norwegian heritage. Also bear in mind that “cheese heads” are among the most ardent of sports fans.

The year is 2016 and the U.S. has just elected the first woman president, who happens to be from Wisconsin.

A few days after the election, the president-elect, whose name is Susan, calls her father, Ole, and says, "So Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"

“Vell, I don't tink so, Susan. It’s an 18-hour drive."

“Don't worry about it, Dad. I'll send Air Force One, and a limousine will pick you up at your door."

“I don't know. Everybody vill be so fancy. Vhat would your mother Lena vear?”

“Oh, Dad," replies Susan, “I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown, custom made by the best designer in Washington.”

“Honey,” Ole complains, “you know I can't eat dose rich foods you all eat dere in Washington. Do dey serve tap beer?”

The President-to-be responds: “Don't worry, Dad! The entire affair will be handled by the best caterer in Washington. I’ll ensure your meals are salt free. You and Mom just have to be here.”

So Ole reluctantly agrees and on Jan. 20, 2017, Susan is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row sits the new president's parents, Ole and Lena.

Ole, noticing a U.S. senator sitting next to him, leans over and whispers, “You see dat woman over dere wit her hand on da Bible, becoming President of da United States?”

The Senator whispers back, “You bet I do.”

And Ole, eyes gleaming with pride, tells the Senator: “Her brother played football for da Green Bay Packers.” bill@rockdalereportercom


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2013-01-10 digital edition



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