My slogans might help market the iPotty
Bill Cooke

Neighbor Grover sez if you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed. P otty trained a toddler lately?

If so, congratulations. Pegaroo and I went through it four times a looooong time ago. And we’ve helped a tad with six grandkids.

We now have a two-year-old great-grandson, born with inexhaustible stamina, a linebacker’s pain tolerance, and an inner drive that would put that drum-beating TV bunny that advertises batteries to shame. Luckily, he’s not our project. His mama and daddy and grandparents are the lucky (if somewhat tired) ones handling the potty duty.

Nevertheless, it was with him in mind that I read a recent Associated Press news story on an item featured at the Consumer Electronics Show which is being held in Las Vegas and drawing all kinds of attention.

It’s called the iPotty.

There are all sorts of far-out items on display at the show, a few of them probably worth your money, and a ton of them just pie-in-the-sky dreams of wouldbe inventors—gizmos that will likely never fly.

Not sure about the iPotty.

It’s a product of CTA Digital, a plastic potty which allows parents to attach an iPad to it. It enables little Johnny to play with the electronic pad while taking care of business. Idea is, Johnny will stay there, consumed with the entertainment, as long as it takes to do the deed.

There are even potty training apps that’ll reward the toddler for accomplishing the deed.

I’m tempted to call these “apps for splats” or “perks for poops.” Maybe I should suggest those slogans to the manufacturer.

If you’re an exasperated parent currently pulling your hair out, the iPotty is priced at $39.99. Of course, that doesn’t include the iPad. Potty power to you.


Pardon the pun, but the story of the week concerns, of course, a bit of government money spent rather foolishly (imagine that).

Report on Crow Kills

Rules Out Avian Flu

Well, it is not a pretty story. About 200 dead crows were discovered near Worcester, Massachusetts and there was concern for Avian Flu.

They had a bird pathologist examine the remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely not Avian Flu, to everyone’s relief.

However, he did determine that 98 percent of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2 percent were killed by car impact.

The city then hired a ornithological behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kill.

The ornithological behaviorist determined the cause in short order. When crows eat road kill, they always post a “ look- out crow” in a nearby tree, to warn of impending danger.

His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "cah", but he could not say "truck."

C’mon, folks, I said pardon the pun.

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2013-01-17 digital edition

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