SPOILIN’ THE BROTH
Neighbor Grover sez teach a child to be courteous and when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway. G un control, pro and con, is all the rage right now. So with that in mind, we pass this along as our Story of the Week, sent our way by long-time Reporter reader Betty Lange.
“While out hiking in Alberta, Canada with my boyfriend, we were surprised by a huge grizzly bear charging at us from out of nowhere. She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive.
“If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire with me I would not be here today. Just one shot to my boyfriend's knee cap was all it took and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.
“It's one of the best pistols in my collection. ”
One John Freeman sent the following, an updated version of something I had seen earlier. It is totally fictitious, but clever nevertheless.
Wal-Mart announced that it will soon offer customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with a major California winery to produce the wines at affordable
prices in the $2 to $5 range.
Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most
attractive names for the brands
and varieties. Top names in order
of popularity were:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc.
9. White Trashfindel.
8. Big Red Gulp.
7. World Championship Riesling. 6. NASCARbernet.
5. Chef Boyardeaux.
4. Peanut Noir.
3. I Can’t Believe it’s not Vinegar. 2. Grape Expectations.
1. Nasti Spumante.
The beauty of the wine is
that it can be served with either
white meat (possum) or red meat
Okay, dear readers, please don’t
bother writing to tell me that possum is not white meat.
Aren’t you afraid Wal-Mart would be offended by such a tomfoolery column item, you ask?
No, because years ago a lawyer, who had quite the reputation of an ambulance chaser, visited me once after I had sorta’ chastised him in this column for a news release he had made available touting one of his glorious courtroom achievements. The news release, naturally, did not mention that he had raked in about half of his client’s settlement.
“Bill,” he said with a huge grin, “don’t you know there’s no such thing as good publicity or bad publicity? It’s all just publicity, plain and simple.” firstname.lastname@example.org