Commentary

BASIC MAYHEM

Kathy Cooke

Prince P, Joan and Justin Bieber, oh my!

I had some trouble sleeping a few nights ago. I went to sleep fine but then woke up about 2 a.m. and couldn’t go back to sleep.

Of course, I finally got sleepy around 6:30 a.m. but made myself get up and drink some tea and get my day started.

I decided to tune in to Good Morning America.

It starts at 7 a.m. with this thunderous music making it seem like breaking news was about to happen first thing in the morning.

But the stories that followed made me think I was in the Twilight Zone.

First up, was that Prince Phillip, who is about 147 years old, I think, was having surgery.

They announced it four different times. I thought by the time they finished, he could have already been out of surgery.

I’m not trying to be mean, but was he having a sex-change operation or something? I don’t understand the need to announce that he’s having surgery fourteen times in 30 minutes.

The next item on the news cast was that, apparently, there is actually a show called Celebrity Wife Swap. I didn’t even know such a show existed. Of course, after Honey Boo Boo, I am not surprised.

But get this, the next “Swappers” are going to be Joan Rivers and her daughter Melissa Rivers are swapping with Bristol Palin and her sister Willow Palin.

Not one of the four are wives and the term “celebrity” is used pretty loosely in this case too.

But the absolute best one of the morning, the one that blew the top of my head off, was that Justin Bieber has signed up and paid his $200,000 to go into outer space with Sir Richard Branson on the Virgin Galactic Suborbital Space Ship ride.

Yeah, that’s what I said.

Don’t rides into space take like 8 years to go anywhere?

Does Sir Richard Branson realize he’s going to be cooped up in a space ship with Justin Bieber for that long? What if he starts singing?

I can just picture Sir Richard, at about year two, going over to the main hatch door and asking Justin to come and help him adjust the door and oops! Justin gets a light boot out the hatch.

Sir Richard is going to get back home minus one Bieber.

What weird stories! And this is news?

I kept talking to my cat the whole time I was watching.

“Max, am I on Candid Camera? Is someone filming me watching this?”

Max just yawned and said “First of all, you’d better hope that no one is filming you in those so-called pajamas.

“And second, my bowl of food is only half full and I may die of starvation any minute.”


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2013-06-13 digital edition



The burn ban for Milam County has been lifted. Burning is always prohibited in the county's municipalities.


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