Commentary

SPOILIN’ THE BROTH

Vet clinic really enjoyed the Super Bowl
Bill Cooke

Neighbor Grover sez to be born a gentleman is an accident; to die one is an achievement.

“Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise!” O kay, we’ve all heard that quote, and us newspaper types really like it, but where did it originate?

Friend Harold Parsley found out the other day while reading Duvall's Daily Quote (duvallsdailyquote@gmail.com), and shared the information.

It was Dr. William M. Scholl (1882-1968), American physician and businessman, who coined that phrase as a key to success.

It worked for him. Chances are if you haven’t comfied up a pair of old shoes with his inserts—a display of which are in all kinds of stores—it’s likely you will.

The quote, a twist on the Benjamin Franklin original, has often been attributed to Ted Turner, but Turner freely admitted that it had been one of his father’s favorite mottoes.

It first appears in print around 1912, just a few years after he founded his foot-care product company, and it certainly was used by him thereafter.

And also don’t forget:

“Reporter Ads Get the Grapes!”

­— bc—

Nobody enjoyed the Super Bowl more than a group of veterinarians in Wenatchee, Washington.

Thanks to some friends up there, we were sent photos to prove the point. That state is giddy over the Seahawks’ slaughter of the Broncos.

On the Wenatchee vet clinic’s huge billboard-type sign, prior to the Super Bowl the marquee read:

This month’s special: free Bronco castrations.

It generated a lot of media attention, including network TV. And after the Super Bowl, the marquee said: Surgery went well, Denver.

Pick up your gelding.

—bc—

Ever wonder why baby diapers have brand names such as “Luvs”, “Huggies” and “Pampers” while undergarments for old people are called “Depends.”

Here’s the skinny:

When babies soil their pants, people are still gonna Luv ’em, Hug ’em and Pamper ‘em.

When old people soil theirs, it “Depends” on who’s in their will.

—bc—

Here’s a quiz for the long of tooth (I scored very high). It’s entitled: Are you smarter than a 60-yearold?

1. After the Lone Ranger solved the problem, what did he leave behind?

2. The Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964 and appeared on what TV show?

3. Song: Get your kicks...

4. The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to...

5. In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the....

6. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we danced under a stick in a dance called the.....

7. Nestle’s makes the very best....

8. Trumpeter Satchmo was America’s “Ambassador of Goodwill.” His real name?

9. Takes a licking and keeps on ticking?

10. Red Skeleton’s hobo character was named...

11. Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their...

12. A little car with the engine in back and the trunk in front was called the VW. What other names did it go by?

13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about “the day the music died.” It was a tribute to...

14. In 1957, Russia put the first satellite in orbit and it was called...

15. Who knows what secrets lie in the hearts of men?

Answers: 1. Silver bullet. 2. Ed Sullivan Show. 3. On Route 66. 4. Protect the innocent. 5. Lion sleeps tonight. 6. Limbo. 7. Chocolate. 8. Louis Armstrong. 9. Timex watch. 10. Freddy the Freeloader. 11. Draft cards. 12. Beetle and Bug. 13. Buddy Holley. 14. Sputnik. 15. The Shadow does. bill@rockdalereporter.com-


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2014-02-20 digital edition



The burn ban for Milam County has been lifted. Burning is always prohibited in the county's municipalities.


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