SPOILIN’ THE BROTH
Olympics that I couldn’t come up with a column idea. Then faithful reader Mary Jane Boyd rescued me, emailing the following blonde jokes, all fresh to me.
• A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog that’s been barking for hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this” and goes downstairs. Twenty minutes later she comes back to bed and her husband says, “The dog is still barking. What have you been doing?”
The blonde says, “I put the dog in our back yard. Let's see how they like it!”
• Blondes Lynn and Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy asked, “Why are you throwing those nails away?” Lynn explained, “ When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end so I throw them away.”
Judy, upset , yel led , “ Those nails aren’t defective! They’re for the other side of the house.”
• Did you hear about the two blonds who nearly froze to death in a drive-in movie? They’d gone to see “Closed for Winter.”
• Driv ing home from work, a blonde got caught in a hailstorm and the car was covered with dents. Next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner, seeing she was a blonde, decided to have some fun. He told her to go home, wait three hours, and then blow into the tail pipe really hard, and the dents would pop out.
After the allotted time back home, she got down on her hands and knees and blew into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. She blew harder and harder and nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her and asked what she was doing. The first blonde told her about the repairman’s instructions.
The roommate rolled her eyes and said, “Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.”
• A blonde, shopping at Target, came across a shiny silver thermos. She asked the clerk what it was for. “That's a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” She thought that was amazing, bought it and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk and asked what it was. “It’s a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,” she replied.
Her boss asked, “What do you have in it?”
The blond replied, “Two Popsicles and some coffee.” firstname.lastname@example.org