Banana and mayonnaise sandwiches get their goo... due


A lthough my father and I of course shared many traits, one he did not pass down to me was his love of disgusting foods.

The same man who guided me to Pat’s Seafood in Henderson, La.; Dirty Martin’s in Austin and Louie Mueller’s consumed mass quantities of olives, Vienna sausages, sardines, Fritos and bean dip, sauerkraut, licorice and buttermilk.

His favorite, however, was banana and mayonnaise sandwiches. (I just threw up in my mouth a little.)

Now I realize my dad was a product of the depression—born in 1930— so a lot of his fondness for these heinous foods come from the days when he had to eat whatever was in the house—if anything at all.

He was also from Atlanta, so that may haver something to do with it as well. In my research, I actually found a recipe for a “middle Georgia banana sandwich.”

I like bananas, like mayonnaise— just not in the same mix. I, of course, tried it the first time he offered it up, couldn’t handle the consistency, which I likened to snail trail residue.

Banana and mayonnaise sandwiches recently got a boost from Dale Earnhardt Jr. Banana and mayonnaise sandwiches recently got a boost from Dale Earnhardt Jr. The closest we could come as kids was ketchup sandwiches, which we could not get enough of.

I have a friend who eats mayonnaise on hot dogs. That’s just wrong. When he does this, we have to sit at separate tables.

I understand that in Europe, they prefer mayonnaise on French fries rather than ketchup.

May I register my disgust with that perverted practice.

My father’s favorite is not to be confused with Elvis’ legendary fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches.

Here’s the recipe:

2 slices white bread

1/2 banana, sliced liberal slathering of mayonnaise (Miracle Whip)

Now the sacred banana and mayonnaise sandwich recently received a boost of publicity after NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt, Jr. proclaimed his love for the gooey mess of a concoction.

In my life, I had never heard of anyone, other than my father, of recognizing the nana and mayo mess, much less consuming one.

Thought my father had the market cornered when it came to the nana samwiches.

Now Junior is the most popular driver on the NASCAR circuit, with a portfolio full of commercial jobs, so when he speaks, people listen.

His pronouncement caused an internet stir: “Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Eats Banana and Mayonnaise Sandwiches”, the headliner blared.

Not coincidently, one of Junior’s many sponsors is Hellman’s mayonnaise.

A host on an ESPN sports show tried to eat a B/M sandwich. He ended up spitting it out in a sink.

Which is kind of the same reaction that I had when my father would slap one together.

Now my father would only eat the nana sandwich on special occasions and usually at night as a dessert treat.

And it always seem like I was present on these “special occasions.”

I know somewhere, my dad is smiling.

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2014-04-03 digital edition

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