The friend test

“I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes.” Psalms 119:99

Proverbs 17:17 tells us that a “friend loves at all times.” I’m thinking we don’t have many friends. Grace needs to be part of the equation for sure, but friendship is a commitment and includes not only being loved but loving as well. Literally the word friend can mean partner. We are in this thing together both during the good times and the not so good times. So a friend is always there making provision to be there when you need them. Did I say we don’t have many real friends because I meant to.

They say we need eight hugs a day in order to stay physically and mentally healthy. Not only that but the hugs need to last for eight seconds to get the chemistry going. So physical touch is a component of friendship. I’m not a hugger but I think I have been converted. At my church the dudes are big time huggers, and I am tired of swimming upstream. I’d almost rather hug than shake hands because then I don’t have to wash my hands. Romans 16:16 tells us to greet each other with a holy kiss. As long as we are only hugging, I think I’m going to be okay. I am going to draw the line at the “holy kiss.” Only six people get to kiss me - Jesus, the Blonde, daughters Klaire, Brooke and our two granddaughters Audrey and Rilee.

Saying the right words at the right time is an important part of friendship. I like that Ananias in Acts 9 not only used physical touch on Saul soon to be the Apostle Paul after his Damascus Road experience but his first word to Saul was, “Brother.” That’s a great term, it included Saul, it speaks of family, it says, “Hey, Saul, you are in.” It’s inclusive.

Job’s three friends are a great example of friendship. They came to Job when he was in need of support. They demonstrated their friendship by going, being and doing. Later it got a little funky, but I want to give these guys a high five for their initial effort.

Can I tell you a secret? A lot of people tell me they love me. I really don’t believe it. Writer Bob Goff says, “Love Does,” and I don’t see a lot of doing. Words don’t cost much but rolling up your sleeves and getting in the pit with me requires a lot.

My younger brother Steve did me a solid a million years ago. I was in the hardest season of my life, and he took t ime off f rom work, drove down from Dallas and just sat with me at the country club pool. We did not need to talk; he was just there with me.

John 15:14 says, “Jesus is our friend.” Then He puts a condition on it, Jesus said, “If you do what I command you.” Friendship needs qualifying, doesn’t it? Jennifer used to say I had a lot of friends, real friends, good friends (not fake Facebook friends) but I look around in 2024 and think, “Where are they?” I think I will blame Covid.

Do you have people that don’t respond to your text messages? That’s become culturally acceptable and normal. I’m not a fan. Why is it that those same people think they don’t have to respond to you but when they text you, they expect a response. I think they call that a contradiction or hypocrisy. Those people are probably not friends, but can I encourage you to love them anyway and as far as it depends on you treat them like a friend because I’m guessing rude people need as many friends as they can get.

I said all of that to say, I want to pass the friend test. I want to be a friend that loves at all times.

He told me to tell you that.